Ok, back (not) by popular demand, here are 13 even bolder predictions for the year 2020.
1. I will refuse to pay any federal income taxes in 2020, due to not getting a refund because of the phony government shutdown in 2019. Jail time will be threatened, but I will lead a mass “don’t-pay-your-taxes movement” that will force the government’s hand. #MakeItStop #OpenAlready Who’s with me?
2. With Guys on the Sideline having gone viral ?, and me now flush with cash, i will opt for double churros during my next Disney visit.
3. Having gained an extra 45 pounds from my double-churro diet, I will buy ChurrosMadeMeFatAndIDontCare.com, which will become the largest churro community in North America.
4. Elizabeth Warren will become chief spokesperson for FamilySearch.org(Sorry, was “chief” a bit insensitive?)
5. LeBron James will lose his record sixth NBA Finals series, but he’ll still claim to be the GOAT (Greatest Of All Time). I will agree with him: The Greatest of All Time at coming in second place.
6. Having made another super bowl appearance, Tom Brady and Bill Belichick will be investigated by the NFL for the illegal use of … Dottera supplements.
7. I will finally be crowned Fantasy Football champ in one of my 6 leagues. It’s bound to happen, right?
8. Zach Braff will get the gang back together for a Scrubs re-boot. Great television will return.
9. Mark Zuckerberg will be embroiled by yet another privacy breach scandal, and Americans will fully embrace the idea that we will never ever get our compromised identities back. Looking for a way to profit, I will cut a baby-back-ribs-wannabe track that will sweep the nation: “I want my ID back, ID back, ID back. I want my ID back, ID back, ID back,” which will replace Baby Shark as the most catchy song of the 21st century.
10. After BYU loses their 10th straight football game to superior Utah, the Cougars will decide its time to make big changes: they will rejoin the Mountain West, and will replace Kilani Sitake with Jeff Grimes. Both will be good moves. (H/T from my podcast co-host Chris).
11. My son will finally thank me for coaching his Jr. Jazz team, citing that I’m not a terrible embarrassment, just a mild embarrassment.
12. Gary Anderson will keep things rolling in Logan, and the Utah State Aggies will complete an undefeated season after winning the Costco Cafe Rio 1-800 Contacts VASA Vivint Smart Home Bowl.
13. Tom Thibodeau will be hired and fired by three more NBA teams. I will wonder why NBA execs continue to make terrible decisions. I’ll think that since I run a moderately successful blog and podcast (word choice might be a bit generous), that I should run a professional franchise. I’ll reference my fantasy football success as a reason for consideration.
Lebrun is the goat and has been since he came back from down 3-1 against the 73 win warriors.